Aww shucks. Thanksgiving and my birthday are over and now it's back to the good old vegan routine of juicing and creating yummy dishes out of the billions of options cooked and raw cuisine can be. Eating .012% or less of the meat I used to consume makes me feel good when I greet an animal because I know none of them can speak up for their other earthlings that we magically convert into food by renaming them from the word "pet" to "livestock." Quite honestly I never cared about meat or where it came from until I got very sick and had to stop eating it and dairy too. I did not care afterwords either.
It was not until 2011 that I understood why I was feeling more benevolent toward animals as food, not because I cared, I still didn't. I really didn't give a shit about cows chickens and pigs until later. Much later. They were still the 'other white meat' and they were 'beef it's what's for dinner' and they were certainly happy California cows. It wasn't until I finished that fucking paper on self deception that I had started years back. It wasn't until I finished the books Radical Honesty (Blandton), the 48 Laws of Power (Greene) and the nail in the coffin of my illusions The Art of Seduction (Greene). No I am not posting the paper.
It wasn't until then that I caught myself, cornered my ego and slaughtered it along with unhealthy illusions about many things. That was 2012. It took me three years to figure that all out. Strange how it all works when the shadow self finally reveals the hot mess of itself ...that it is ...funny how we trick ourselves. Funny how we make ourselves believe lots of things that are not true. Tricky, very tricky... Funny how that works. And now what? Are doors flinging open for me? Maybe. Does it matter? Perhaps not but to dispel illusion is to add joy, and lots of it. When we steep in big fat lies it triggers queasy weird dysthemic depressions, inexplicable restlessness, brain fog, moodiness, avoidance and apathy. Sound familiar? The real cause of depression is rarely chemical imbalance as the drug companies would have you believe. Depression is psychopathy and shame all dressed up in first class, one hundred percent pure All American take no prisoners denial. The final twist is this, and I offer this to my friends with no guarantees. If I am so willing to lie to myself about happy cows who the hell am I to even speak to you? And who are you when I know you order veal once in awhile? Not so happy cows.
It's no wonder the universe turns its nose up at us when we need that lucky break. If we don't have integrity with animals (put into the context of how they are treated right now today) then who am I to expect you to trust me or to ask the universe to provide me with anything at all. Talk about your dark nights of the soul. When you realize that this is only the beginning you come to know the very top layer of real human dignity. Then all we have to do is ride that pony home and the joy begins to flow and our confidence solidifies, depression lifts and you don't even have to put down that hamburger. All you need to do is be grateful that you know what it really is and for now that's okay. For now. And that is the key... No guilt, no shame no blame. Just awareness of what it is and how we got here. That's all.
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